if i cant make this work. . .

if i cant make this work. . . then i cant make anything work. That's what i am feeling right now. a year has come and gone in my life and here i am again. struggling the pick up the pieces. the last two years have been hard. granted a lot of good has happened and i have grown tremendously as a person. but i am frustrated. in both my personal and professional life. i just feel like something has go to give. its seems that every path i choose is fatally flawed. i am starting to lose my passion and my drive, which is sad because my once fiery spirit has somehow dimmed. i am just trying to find my way-my path in life. trying not to let go of what is important to me-what makes me feel whole and complete. its a daily struggle. but i have never been one to roll over and play dead and just let life happen around me. and i refuse to do that now, i just have to dig deep and keep my head up. eventually the rain will clear, and sunny skies are bound to be ahead. . .that's the thought that keeps me going. i am not certain of the the future has to hold for me, but i have to press on learn from my mistakes and reach for greater achievements. . .

drunkerexia

so i am apparently a drunkerexic. what is that you ask? a brand new term coined to describe the "new" behavior of college aged girls. or in my case a gal in her late twenties. this behavior consists of not eating all day long so that 1.) you get drunk quicker and 2.) you dont gain 500lbs from drinking your body weight in alcohol. i think its brilliant. and def not new as i have been partaking in this fad since circa 1999. in fact i think i invented this fad and i am the queen of it. however, i think i am the queen of everything so ya know.

I SOOO SUPPPERRR EXCITEDD!!!

WELLLL my fave time of year is FINALLY here!! yes my friend its spring!! flowers are blooming the weather is FINALLY warming up! im loving it! MOVE over nasty nasty UGGS and place those flipflops on my feet!!! BUT not only is it SPRING! its finals time! and i know to most you would think this would make me sad and miserable. . .HOWEVER--Finals signify the completion of my first year of law school!!! ITS crazzy how fast time flies. . .EVEN when ur NOT having fun!!!
the good times continue. . .my BDAY is OFFICaLLY in 22 days!!!! in 22 days i will officially be an OLD HAG!! sad but true i will be turning 24. . .thats 6 years away from 30!!! how does that happen???? it seems like yesterday when i was just turning 18!! now suddenly*** POOOF*** im 24---its black magic at work i swear. . .but honestly im not gonna let it get to me--BECAUSE this coming weekend im going home to MD to hang with my PUPPY and my KITTY and my FAMILY. . .then is a couple of weeks i will be celebrating with my FABULOUS law school buddies plus a few special guest will be traveling to BOSTON to attend and help me celebrate--NAMELY derek and possibly some college roomies!! SUPER EXCITED I CANT WAIT!!

my abusive boyfriend is at it again. . .

he claims he wants to change. . .bring in a new season. . .but then he does it too me like always. . .i have no choice but to take it. . .im a helpless victim at his merciless hands. . .oh BOSTON. . .when will you give me the Spring i so desire??? STOP the torturous winter madness---STOP the abuse already Boston. . . i will be good to u i promise!
Enough about Boston. . .lets talk about Maryland--yes spring break in MARYLAND--i was hoping for at least 60 degree weather--but instead i got SNOW and a SNOWMAN and sledding adventure--BUT aside from the unseasonably cold weather. . .which i might add i have become accustom. . .my break was FABULOUSLY relaxing and fun. . .from family time to dancing on bars, drunken concerts and PLENTY of shopping. . .one must wonder. . .WHY ON EARTH WOULD ONE CHOOSE TO ATTEND LAW SCHOOL?? i will leave u with that question to ponder. . .

oh for the love of crim. . .

so im sitting in criminal justice class right now and people are pissing me off. . .its time for people to take responsibility for their actions and quit blaming everything on their upbringing/abuse/blah blah blah!! cry to someone who cares!!
im super excited for this weekend. . .first its a 3 day weekend. . .second D$ is coming to town and thrid. . .well i havent come up with the thrid reason but as soon as i do i will let you know!
i think i have a stress fracture in my foot. . .it has been super painful for about a week--but im refusing to go to a doctor BECAUSE if it is a stress fracture there isnt much they can do until it ACTUALLY breaks--so until then i will endure the pain. . . afterall. . .you cant hurt STEEL!!!!
the ridiculousness of contracts class continues. . .yesterday in class--we had a prospective student come to class with her father. . .unfortunately for NEU they sat behind all of us. . .note passing, card playing, lunch eating, non paying attention law students. . .not to mention she choose to sit in on ENRICH's WEEEELL. . . OKKKKAYYYYY. . .contracts class!! BLEH

ITS blog time. . .

HELLO i know iknow. . .no need for scolding me. . .its has been too long! i feel like im perpetually apologizing for not updating my loyal readers (all 2 of you) on my FABULOUS life! all is well in Boston! only 3 more days then the horrible dreadful tragic class (known as "LP" for all of you non-lawschoolers[lucky bastards] that stands for legal practice)will be over and hopefully the life i have become accustom to will return!! So SUNDAY NITE. . .u better watch out! Sanni, Lo and Jenni are coming over to my apart--we are having a cocktail/fuck off cupid party in honor of Valentine's day/LP ending. . .as LO put it best. . .we are planning to "black out" valentines day AND LP oral arguments!!!!!!!!! FABULOUS!!!!!!! i will let u know how it goes!! till then keep it FABULOUSLY BEAUTIFUL!!! SMoooooccccHHHESSSS

IM SORRY MY LITTLES. . .

SO I ABSOLUTELY REALIZE I HAVE BEEN NEGLECTING YOU MY FABULOUS LITTLES. . .I HOW IM SORRY. . .MY VAIN EXISTENCE IS TAKING OVER AND I HAVE NOT SO MUCH TIME FOR YOU. . .RIGHT BECAUSE IM THAT IMPORTANT!! SO LETS SEE. . .WHAT HAVE U MISSED. . .PONDERING. . .OH YEAH THATS RIGHT MY LIFE IS STILL UNFABULOUS---BUT IM HAPPY TO REPORT THAT AFTER FRIDAY MY LIFE WILL BE GETTING A WHOLE LOT BETTER---THAT LIL THRON IN MY SIDE KNOWN AS LEGAL PRACTICE WILL COME TO A CONCLUSION!! HOORAAYYY--IM SURE I WILL CELEBRATE THIS TOUCHSTONE MOMENT AS I DO EVERY TOUCHSTONE MOMENT IN MY LIFE. . .BY GETTIN WASTED. . .IM FEELING SCORPION BOWLS. . .IS ANYONE IN???
ON A MUCH MORE SOBER NOTE. . .I WOULD LIKE TO INFORM U THAT I WILL NOT BE MAKING A TRIP SOUTH OF THE BORDER FOR SPRING BREAK---NO---SAN DIEGO U WILL HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE PLEASURE OF MY COMPANY---BECAUSE I HAVE NO $$$ TO TRAVEL. . .SAD SAD SAD EXISTENCE AS A POOR LAW STUDENT (ANYONE WHO WOULD LIKE TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE SEND AMANDA ON SPRING BREAK FUND. . .EMAIL ME AT FABULOUSAMANDA@HOTMAIL.COM). . .UNTIL THEN UPPER MARLBORO HERE I COME!!!!!!!

amendment to a previous post. . .

i would like to make a formal apology for some misrepresentations of a previous posting. . .
the convo from contracts class should have read as follows:

USEFF:(btw i know this is not how u spell ur name but i refuse to spell it correctly--i prefer to be obnoxious--AND no i still havent signed up for "friendster")--> "whats up with the bill cosby sweater?"
Jenni: "i have a rag in my apartment that looks just like it"

AGAIN i apologize to all of those who were offended by any on my misinterpretations--i truly regret this unfortunate event and sincerly look forward to future notes of contracts!

BLEH to friendster. . .

So lauren is making fun of me for my blog. . .i think she is just jealous---she wants me to join friendster. . .whatever that is. . .i dont understand!! it took the cattle proding of jenni to get me to register for this blog---i think i would need the same for "Friendster"! Im locked in a study room with lauren right now. . .i 3:30 we have vowed to get work done. . .its 3:22 and im not ready to do work! LAW SCHOOL SUX!!!
notes passed in class today(regardings a profs sweater):
DAN: "whats up with the Bill Cosby Sweater?"
USEFF: "i have a rag growing up my ass that looks just like it!"

im being hazed by my law profs. . .

law school is totally full of tricks. . . and im not talking the good kind which u can find standing on shady corners late at nite. . .im talking about sneaky tricks. . .like hiding assignments from us. . .posting them in the most obscure places just to insure we will be utterly unprepared for the first week of our second semester. . .kinda special. . . NO REALLY. . . i really like it-its like this bizarre scavenger hunt--its what i would imagine pledging a sorority would be like-- I HEART NEU school of law's demented hazing rituals!!

back in beantown

Well after an amazing two weeks at home. . .im back in BOSTON!! i must admit the sight of the prudential is more and more being equated to home in my mind. im so not super excited to go to class at 8:30 am tomorrow-3 weeks off has spoiled me!! i enjoyed my 5am nites, no sleep and working at nordies---somehow work required far less brain power than law school.

so i should be taking a practice exam. . .

considering i have a property exam tomorrow at 10 am and i havent studied. . .thats probably what i should be doing right now! but im not-instead im updating all of you fabulous people(ie Jenni-bc im pretty sure noone else reads this) on my not so fabulous life!!! So i think that instead of actually taking the property exam we should just head straight to "HONG KONG" for scorpion bowls. . .whatever they are---so the plan for me tomorrow is-since i have a flight at 517 im going to take the exam-finish at 2 then get my luggage carry it to the bar with me-finish a "bowl" and then take a cab to catch a flight back to my fabulous homeland. . .NO not CUBA. . .viva cuba(thats for my dear LLM Jenni). . .but MARYLAND--oh that fabulopus state!! i can hardly wait!!

Apparently "studying". . .

so rumor has it i have a civ pro exam on Monday. . .well at least i like to pretend it's a dirty rumor that isn't true. . .im supposed to be studying right now-but i have been enticed by the prospect of doing laundry and more importantly DRINKING. . . i find it hard to believe that im actually using "im doing laundry" as an excuse---thats almost as bad as "im washing my hair"-this leads me to the question who have i become??? law school does bad things to you! i have this horrible sinking feeling that 3 years from now when i graduate my family is going to sign me up for one of those cheesy "makeover shows" because law school not only sucks the life out of you. . .it apparently sucks the style out of you too!!! im afraid im becoming the not so Fabulous Amanda which is completely utterly HORRIFIC!!! TEAR
one more thing to shed a tear about. . .this is the FIRST Saturday nite i have stayed in since moving to BOSTON!! Again i ask. . .who have i become????????

That me, my "puppy" Maddie and some shitty flowers some fool sent me!! SUCKER!!! HAHAHA 

my very first blog!

If my mom were here, she'd take pictures, unfortunately just your mom is here...(and she looks like ass on film).


I'm OBVIOUSLY not studying right now in favor of filling you, my underlings, in on details of my FABULOUS existence.